Moving in the Moment

I have discovered half our stuff has made it to California and is in storage with the only company I specifically asked never to work with again.  The other half was supposed to arrive this past Thursday, and “they” said someone would definitely call when it got there.  No call.  I’m torn between going with “no news is good news” or “don’t worry about things you have no control over”.  Either pithy phrase gets me to the following place:

I’m going to live like my kids do.

My children are two of the most joyful human beings ever created.  Since we arrived in the California desert, everything they have seen has been a small but utterly exciting miracle.  This is not fake, I-have-to-be-happy-because-I-have-no-choice-in-what-is-happening-to-me-so-I-might-as-well-make-the-best-of-it joy.  It is down-to-the-depths, how-lucky-am-I-to-have-this-experience joy.

The kind of joy you only get from living in the moment.

This is not to say my children don’t get sad. They do.  They just are not willing to stay that way.  My daughters feel their painful feelings (sad, mad, frustrated, confused, irritated, and occasionally bored) completely, with total abandon, and often very loudly.  That’s living in the moment as well.  They feel a feeling, express it, and move on.  They might tell me about it later (often many times for many years).  But at that point they recognize it as a story.  The pain itself has been dealt with and they have moved on to happier places.

So here’s where I plan to join my dear progeny.

I am making a declaration.  This move stuff is just that: a bunch of stuff going from one place to another.  I can sit around frustrated that I don’t have control of how this situation resolves itself, or I can recognize that the moving company is theoretically responsible for our stuff.  Insurance will reimburse us if something goes wrong.  I have done all I can do and I have to trust the outcome.   The condition our stuff will be in when next I see it, if I see it,  is simply uncertain.

And living with uncertainty is made much easier if you simply remain present in every moment.

So I am going to enjoy the days I have with my husband and kids before he deploys.  I am going to stay in the moment wherever that takes me, and hopefully I too will find miracles.  If I feel sad or mad, I’m going to feel it.  Probably loudly.  But I am fairly certain I will be able to shift quickly and authentically back to joy.  Because after all, I have two little role models showing me the way.

Namaste