The Key to Understanding

Our last week in Virginia we had rental car issues.

I don’t just mean a flat tire on the side of the road.  We literally went through three cars in a week.  The final problem was almost too bizarre to believe:

the key got stuck in the ignition with the car running, unable to be locked.

And the kicker: the rental company refused to come take the car as long as it was still running.  The car could not be left unattended as someone might steal it, or a kid might jump into it, or it might somehow blow up the entire city block!  Phone call after phone call elicited the same answer: the running car is your problem, not ours.

I was beside myself.  All I could think was “we have at best 30 days as a family over the next year, and I am spending one of them babysitting a VEHICLE!!!”

Ultimately we took the battery out so the car would not technically be “running.”  And after five hours of angst, someone towed it at 1:00 in the morning.

Upon hearing my story, a friend said something I often say to her:

“so what do you think that MEANS?”

For me, nothing happens just because.  Events have a purpose.  And I believe at any given moment I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  Sometimes it is hard to figure out the lesson in the midst of the chaos.  But I espouse there is always a reason behind everything.

So when my friend asked the question, the answer hit me like a hammer:

the Folsom family has spent a lot of time lately with our engines running for NO GOOD REASON.

And stopping the madness is completely under my control, just like taking the battery out of that car!

But the crazy solves a problem for me.

The roar of the engine keeps me from listening to the internal voice that tells me what is truly important.   And a part of me sometimes does not want to hear what it has to say.  So I do a doggone good job of drowning it out by revving things up.

Take the car, I was loathe to take the battery out because I was afraid we would “get in trouble” somehow and the rotten rental company would be able to blame the situation on us.

But so what?

Honestly, most of the stuff I let myself stress over falls in the category of “so what?”  And, along with messing with the rental folks, a bunch of “so what” was going on in our lives that week.  We were trying to get last minute items taken care of before we left Virginia but little of it really mattered.

• I wanted the kids to see their friends as much as possible before saying goodbye to lessen the impact of being completely uprooted.
• I wanted to write perfect notes to the dear teachers we have loved so much.
• I wanted to tie up every loose end from canceling gym memberships to collecting all medical records to recycling the bag of old tennis shoes I’d had in the basement for almost a year.

We kept the engine running so that every last one of those things got done.  But so what?

The Universe has an amazing sense of humor.  And it is very clear to me now that the car was just a metaphor for the incessant running in my own life.  But all that “so what” just kicked the can down the road a little.

The feelings I was trying to cover up are still there waiting to be recognized.

However, all is quiet now, and I am once again listening to my internal voice.  And, boy, does it have a lot to say.  But more on that later….

Namaste